When the Testimony isn't Finished Yet

Hi everyone,

I would say “long time no see,” but that’s not entirely true, is it?

This blog is called Glory Testimonies, and I strive to lead with vulnerability and truth. So that’s exactly how I’m going to begin this entry. I want to start by saying how difficult it has been for me to write this. The decision to share what I’m currently going through has weighed on me for the past eight months.

My previous entries—though incomplete, I know—have focused mostly on the breakthroughs and reflections from my journey as a graduate student. Because of that, I’ve felt an enormous amount of pressure about my lack of updates. I wanted to write, but I have been weighed down by shame and exhaustion, feeling like I have been failing at every turn of my journey so far.

These past eight months have been filled with tears, anger, and frustration about the direction my life seems to be taking. For a long time, I didn’t think this was something I needed to share with anyone. But recently, after a hard reset of my expectations for how my life should go, I realized something important. Even though I’ve always known my struggles are part of my journey, that doesn’t mean I have to be afraid to share them.

So, without further ado, here is the most recent chapter in my life.

As many of you may remember from my last entry, I initially failed my entrance exam to transition from a master’s student to a Ph.D. student. Since then, by God’s grace and mercy, I have passed both portions of the exam and completed my master’s thesis, earning my M.S. in Bioengineering! That moment was a major turning point in my life, and I celebrated it with as much gratitude and praise as I could muster because it was truly the Lord’s favor that carried me through.

But just as I was celebrating my graduation and transition, I was also entering another familiar season: the summer internship application cycle.

This is a process I know all too well. For the past three years, I have applied for internships in hopes of gaining experience, developing new skills, and strengthening my resume. This year, I truly believed things would be different. I thought my preparation and persistence would finally pay off.

So, for the past five months, I have been applying and interviewing for internships. Unfortunately, I have yet to succeed.

(If you are reading this and know of any openings in the biotech sector for an R&D position, please feel free to reach out—seriously!)

But on a more serious note, the constant rejection has been overwhelming. There were moments when it became so discouraging that I completely broke down, asking God when it would finally be my time.

Can you imagine waking up in the morning and the very first thing you see is a rejection email? And not just any email—but one sent at 3 a.m. First, why am I receiving an application update at 3 in the morning? Could it not wait until respectable business hours? Then again, maybe the companies did me a favor, because Lord knows what my reaction might have been if those emails had come in while I was at work.

But I digress.

The point is that the constant rejection really shook me. It made me begin questioning my intelligence, my abilities, and whether I was truly good enough.

Yet in the middle of all of this, I am incredibly grateful for the community around me—people who never let me forget who I am and whose I am.

Even though I have questioned God about the timing of my breakthrough, I still know without a doubt that He is moving and shifting things on my behalf. Right now, I can honestly say that I don’t know what’s next, and I don’t have a neat, wrapped-up testimony to share at the end of this story.

But what I do have is this: I’m still here.

And I’m going to keep moving forward. Maybe this entry isn’t a testimony yet—but it’s the beginning of one.